Why on earth am I making homemade French fries?

I am a woman of modern times.

One who has too many roles and wears too many hats.

My life is one day after another of juggling so many tasks, splaying myself out in awkward positions lest I drop one, that I don’t even know where the time goes or what I have done that day. What did I do today?

I know I didn’t cross off everything on my “to-do” list. My futile attempt to get up early was thwarted when my alarm did not go off at 6 am. Instead, I awoke to my phone ringing.

My voice gravelly and my brain foggy, I had a 12 minute conversation with the Internship Coordinator at a local community college regarding my need for interns. I got the information, but still need to fill out the form. Do I even want an intern from there? The college is close to my house, but I work across town. Oh, I am having trouble wrapping my mind around the best way to acquire the free help I need. And how on earth do I solve the problem that this intern will have to handle money? I’m a bit paranoid as a rule, but giving over my barely-there budget to someone I hardly know so they can help me by doing all of my props and costumes shopping may be more control than I can let go of. The problem with being a small business owner is that you are so used to doing everything - - you become convinced that’s it just easier and hopefully better to just handle it yourself.

But enough on that, it’s 9:50 am and in ten minutes I’m supposed to be at Costco shopping for the weekend camping trip. Two hours and three stops later I have gotten the trip shopping done, handled my small grocery list and gotten scarves for today’s dance class. Oh, and some yarn to make a hooded afghan. Why can’t I just buy a baby gift like normal people? My grandmother asked me yesterday when I have time to knit. I don’t, in fact. A partially done row is sitting on my dresser, I think I’m supposed to “purl” next. It’s a seed stitch pattern.

…Now it’s 6:44 pm, I have not begun my school assignment which I said I would post to my group “by tonight”, my definition of tonight is by the time I go to bed, somewhere around 11. Meanwhile I’m wearing my “MRS” apron, listening to a book on tape, writing this, letting the dogs in and trying to make homemade French fries. I haven’t eaten enough today (I forget to eat when overwhelmed) so I’m a bit shaky and I keep thinking that the combo of shaky hands and the mandoline are a baaaad idea.

Why on earth am I making homemade French fries?

Somewhere in the midst of the real world deadlines, nothing gives me more satisfaction than having my husband come home to a clean house, dishes done and a nice dinner. Like I have time for that?! He doesn’t expect this from me, he knows I juggle work and school and our basic agreement is if you have time to cook, great, if not, leftovers or sandwiches are fine. We also have a freezer of gargantuan size that holds at least five different frozen meals at any given moment.

So why the need to be an “uberhousefrau”? I keep secretly hoping that if I do a really good job at housekeeping my husband will magically get a job with a salary that would allow me to do this full-time, have a couple of kids and maybe direct a play or two on the side. If only it were that easy. If only there was a stimulus package for that.